Marrying A Family

Holidays are a good reason to spend time with the people you love, families or friends. It's also one of the times of year I wish time travel and apparition were possible. Short of spending half the day traveling, most people have to choose just one group of people to spend time with.

Although I intensely missed spending Thanksgiving with my family in my hometown, I'm lucky to be marrying a man with a family I also enjoy being with for extended periods of time. A group of people I can also call my own. Admittedly, it took some time to get there. Becoming part of a new family can be very stressful and uncomfortable. In some ways, I instantly felt like I belonged in A's family. But man, three older sisters with opinions and a deep love for their baby brother can scare even the most friendly girl. Thankfully I have something in common with all of them and it didn't take long for us to develop a good relationship.

Having multiple families isn't a new concept to me. With my mom's family and two dads' families, I'm used to traveling around the city on Thanksgiving and splitting Christmas among several households. So, I firmly believe no family can ever replace another family. They're all important in shaping who you are in a different way. My family is one of a kind, as is A's. I've learned to appreciate the difference in dynamics between our two families. My family is a raucous love coated in sarcasm. His is more openly supportive and loving. A's mom always says, "There's always room for more family." I completely agree. She always says I'm already part of theirs, but I'm excited for it to become real.

6 months to go!

I can't believe it's only 6 months until our wedding! Time is going so fast and there's still so much to do. I had this uniquely wonderful concept for our Save-the-Dates and I was so excited to see this project through to completion. But we've had trouble scheduling photos and it seems like there's barely time to get them in the mail, let alone try and design them from scratch.

However, I had a clear realization last night, one that A and my MOH helped me realize and feel more comfortable about. There are some projects I'm just going to have to let go of. Aaron and I have so many wonderful photos already and the concept can still be unique without having every single element I hoped for. So, good bye dear Save-the-Date. I'm not going to think about the hours I spent lying awake planning you out in excruciating detail. I'm just going to convey my ideas to my dear MOH and let her take the reins. She often knows my thoughts better than I know them myself and I'm so excited to be surprised with what she comes up with.

It's time to take another look at my "countdown calendar" and see if there are tasks I can eliminate or delegate. Hopefully that will get rid of some stress. Also, A and I are planning a "wedding date" in December so we can schedule tasks and try out our vegetarian recipe. In times like this when I start to feel overwhelmed it's good to "talk it out" and remember that I'm still on schedule and organized. It's almost Thanksgiving and I can say with certainty that I am very thankful for a wonderful support system as I plan for this event. Thank you! I couldn't get through this without you. Seriously.

Super-Organize Me!

I've been focusing a lot on organization recently. As A can attest, my piles of projects occasionally become the source of tension on what would otherwise be a perfectly lovely night of watching network television. I sometimes think to a moment in "He's Just Not That Into You" (and yes, I do mean the movie) when Gigi is paying all of her bills on time and her smile releases into this enormous sigh of relief. So, I now I'm pleased to say that I finally not just feel--but actually believe that as a young professional (*gulp* Or maybe not so young anymore...) I need to be more organized about my work and my personal life.

I've spent almost 2 weeks borrowing from a fellow blogger's organizing habits, and it's doing me well thus far. I'm feeling more accomplished and remembering more. But I'm thinking today about these tasks that seem like they never get started, like my book or solo EP. And I'm comparing them, of course, to the tasks involved in planning a wedding.

People have warned me against too many DIY projects, but I'm a fiend... and I love them... and it's my party, I'll DIY if I want to... Something I'm trying to keep in mind is that I need to break big tasks down into small chunks. For example - Wedding: Decorations: Poms: Have to order tissue paper. Crafting the timing of these tasks to arrive at my wedding day will require a well-purposed schedule.

There are many ways to get organized when wedding planning. I originally started my idea-keeping in a binder as suggested by wedding Web sites, but I found it was difficult to keep aesthetically pleasing and I didn't want to carry it with me everywhere or print out a new piece of paper any time I added information. I also have some sticky notes on a board in our guest bedroom, but it's difficult to remember what's on them when I'm at work or the craft store. I also have a box of random items for the wedding in my bedroom. Lastly, it's wonderful having use of A's parent's house to store things for the wedding.

One of my planning/ organizing obsessions is my "Sanity Keeper" excel doc. It contains tabs for each aspect of the wedding: Stationary, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, gifts etc etc and on each list contains each item needed, different links to inspirational Web sites or places to order needed items. Google Docs is perfect for items like this so you can open it anywhere you can access your e-mail. Plus it's a safe way to back up your files. It kind of scares me that my sanity keeper is still primarily things required and less things obtained. But it's nice to feel like all of my thoughts have a place to collect that isn't my end table. I also just signed up for Springpad, which will be a great way to keep track of all of my online perusing, inspiration, recipes and daily tasks.

When planning any event or keeping your life organized, I think it's really all about finding a system that works for you: paper, online, tape recorder. Whatever. Try it out and find something you can stick with.

Wedding Stress Begins to Melt Away After Finding Kindred-Spirit via Blog

My hunt for terrific web sites continues. In the search, I've found a new blog that it seems I can relate to on many levels (which in part makes me question the purpose of my blog other than sheer narcissism.) Anyway, as previously mentioned I have had trouble sleeping when I start thinking about wedding details. I'm developing a list of anecdotes to remedy this problem. The first of which is to begin a nightly ritual of popping a melatonin. More on that later.

This particular blog from 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding first off has a picture of the what A and I envision for ourselves in like... maybe two years. Bloodhound? Yes, please. Baby bump? Bring it on. So that was ironic, but not surprising considering the strong connection I felt with this person, whose name is also Sara. But arguably the best part of the blog is her describing her and her husband's true vision for their wedding day... an event that wouldn't put them in debt, yet gathered their closest friends and family to share in their happiness and pledge to one another.

When all is said and done, it's what a wedding is really about. I write about finding the perfect dress and booking the perfect venue, which are important things that express who you are as an individual and a couple. However, they're not everything. I need to keep in mind the real reason A and I are inviting all of these people into one of the most precious moments of our lives. Yes, I want to throw them the greatest party they'll ever attend. But mostly I want them to be part of the commitment we're making.

I'm not expecting to be completely absolved from sleepless nights or completely avoid my devotion to the Wedding Industrial Complex, but I'm hoping I can keep the true focus of the day in the forefront of my mind.